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Tuesday, November 02, 2010


Pervert

Today is perhaps the first day I feel slight frustrations about work.

I guess not many young people, or at least those around me, have that wish to help.

Helping others while earning a good income seems nice to me.

This is about me wanting to help, and I feel that this thing will also benefit the people living there, and the centre in general. However, due to some 'easier-to-manage' mentality, we forgot who are we serving. Them or ourselves?

Perhaps I haven't been in the business long enough to understand the constraints. But what I'm guided by is for the good of the people, the convenience of them.

Perhaps some day I should just let my mind away from the work, take a breather, think rather thoroughly what I want to change, or what I want to contest, or what I want to create.

I believe school has trained me well. We are trained to see the pros and cons of everything, or cost-benefit analysis in econs term. However, what I lack is definitely the decision-making skills. In essays we present the arguments of both sides, demonstrating our depth of thought. But seldom we are asked to make a choice, or are indeed in power to make THE choice.

There is just this fire inside me, like some needles on my butt. I just can't sit still, I just want to challenge and change things, and I just want to make things better.

Being soft-hearted sometimes is indeed my weakest point. I talk tough, but when it comes to the crunch, I sympathise too easily and can't make the 'tough' choices.

But on the other hand, I just feel this perverted mode of thinking everywhere. People's lives decided by a few men/women. Comfortable in the office. Comfortable living their lives. Comfortable drawing decent salaries. How would they understand, and how do they sympathise? Like how Goh Keng Swee said about this perverted culture to please bosses. Who are we trying to serve, really?

Before I can change things, I need to think. In depth. And be sure of what I stand for. I'm sure there's something to be change, and perhaps I'll just start one by one.

Seriously. This perverted mindset needs to change.

lowtide blogged @
11:31 pm



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