Friday, February 01, 2008
Yeah!
It's great being rewarded after the huge struggles I faced last semester! :)
Mentally it was a huge struggle for me, with everything bombarding me at one go.
Well, 苦尽甘来 i guess :)
It's addictive. Once you were in it, you will always want to be in it!
Last semester, being in it gave me that extra stress to maintain it, to prove that it is not a flash in a pan.
This time round, strangely, I feel extra relieved and relaxed about being in it. Somehow, I'm more assured of myself now, and I feel extra motivated!
I must believe.. I have truly arrived.
However, this sem's gonna be hell tougher. More responsibilities, a more tedious timetable, Malay 2, tuition twice a week, and the continued travelling to and fro Timur dan Barat Singapura.
I must practise SAF's 2nd core value - leadership, to make sure things go smoothly. 3rd core value - discipline, to make sure I allocate my time properly and not slack beyond what I need to rest my mind and body. And most importantly, 5th core value - fighting spirit, to do what my mind doesn't want to do, to conquer the struggles I always face internally, and to excel beyond what I am made to acheive without working hard.
If I've conquered last semester, what is this semester?
Mark Hughes always said, winning is a habit, so is losing.
The 5th core value will make sure I'll stay in the former.
I hope I can keep this winning habit of mine :)
Ps. I think I'm stuck in a dilemma, or even many dilemmas. As I told wenwen before, I love being appreciated and valued upon. However, from my own little body and from my own little mind, I can't see what I am really to the world.
Even if internship is confirmed, I face many dilemmas. Seriously I don't know my own capabilities, and how others view me. I do not feel I'm THAT good. And if I'm flattering myself by making the most out of the limited things I hear.
A House IC? R House IC? (Am I even THAT good?) DPD prog for Oweek (Am I THAT good at all?). Sometimes I feel like challenging myself, but I seriously think there are better candidates out there. I can if I work harder, but I know myself, if others are better (which many are I believe), I will be more than happy to give others the chance.I always believe, it's never for my own challenge, it's always for the event. I will only take it if people truly believe in me. After people believe in you, your potential is limitless, when you put in effort, and work everything out.
What should I do? Hmm.
lowtide blogged @
1:50 am
