Friday, May 30, 2008
Results
Yup, the time has come again.
It seems like only moments ago when the last results were released, and this time round, amazingly, the results come very fast.
I've seen people talked about it. Unexpected first person - Gerrald the trainer, who is coincidentally in NUS year 2 too, in EEE and 1985-born. I told him don't remind me about the results day, yet he keep telling me everyday, accompanied by that beng laughter of his. See you in NUS man.
Or on people's msn nicks, blogs, our trip on taxi home etc.
But seriously, this is the first time I'm feeling so numb about it. Granted, when the hours come, I would feel my heart beating faster perhaps, but this is really the first time I'm so not bothered about it.
Why? Cos I know I won't do well this semester.
People often judge people through their past, and think how well they can do. But as what I learnt these few days, the past does not equate to the future. Glad that I had a slight good talk with Tianhao a few days back at my birthday dinner, and I realised something. When we say we'll do badly, it's through a cold, hard prediction of the individual modules' grades, rather than a vague sentiment on how well/bad we have performed.
And true to what I heard these few days, successful people set very specific goals, and when you set very specific goals rather than be guided by a rough feeling/sentiment of what you want to achieve, you whole mind gears towards that clear goal, rather than that murky feeling which leads you to a range of results you aim subconsiously.
I can't assume for other people, but for modules I've done well and for modules I've not, now I begin to realise the difference.
For modules I've done well, I was very clear about the chapters, and what must I do to get each individual topic fully understood.
On the other hand, for modules I've not done as well, I roughly study, vaguely know the chapters and their content, and my mind is loaded with information in a murky sense, instead of very clear, well-defined pockets of information.
People will suddenly feel like how come I'm like this AK-brainwashed being, but it's true of from an analytical point of view, of how we approach studies.
Well, back to this semester's results. Yup, how come I know I won't do well? For the majority of the modules, I have this murky sense of information inside me. The most obvious one would be Natural Heritage, but luckily I'm sure gonna S/U it. For macro, I managed to define the chapters into fine, distinct-yet-linked pockets of information at the end, but the chui mid-term made it really irrecoverable. For Malay 2, with this sem's haphazard way of teaching, plus a wide array style of notes+articles+verbal teaching, it has again become murky, with no sense of organisation in my brain. For Public, I thrown 7% away in the final exam, and in econs terms, it means no A. For financial, I would dare to say I'll get an A, unless the bell curve is so towards the right.
There you have it, detailed, specific thoughts, before making the comment that I won't do well. Of course, I would be more than happy to be proven wrong =D, but I've made my point about being clear and specific in knowing what to do, and what not to do.
I've learnt the power of imagination today, and I think I can put it to good use. I'm not totally worried this sem, because I can imagine myself working hard next year already, cacooning myself in a room somewhere in RVR, and work towards my Book Prize aim. It's a ridiculous target, but I felt that I'm stretching myself mentally already.
No matter what happens tomorrow, I will work out and pull it back up. I've already imagined the feeling of receiving that piece of paper with the class of honours I want, and seriously, it prep me up for what I need to do.
The feeling of taking charge, the feeling of taking action to achieve what I want will lead me well enough, if I can translate these goals into actions, aided by the correct strategies.
Good or bad, I'll get back up =)
lowtide blogged @
1:21 am
