Saturday, May 31, 2008
Winner vs Loser
Something wonderful I learnt, hope to 共勉之.
"There is no such thing as failure, there is something called a learning experience"
Of course, in life, we always face ups and downs.
When we are successful, it is super easy to handle. Smile, celebrate, try to avoid people who did not succeed, and feel really good about yourself.
But everyone knows it. Sometimes, 事与愿违. You can't be successful all the time. when you did not succeed, or things don't go your way, what do you do?
This is when the difference between winners and losers.
Whenever something goes wrong, winners find
reasons it went wrong, losers look for
excuses.
For a loser, it is always about others, never about himself. When something goes wrong, he put the blame on others. On how parents failed to provide him with a decent developing environment. On his nature-given ability not up to scratch. On him being naturally dumb. On how he has 'no time'. On how his friends fail to understand him, when he himself did not make the effort to create this understanding.
For such a person, the world revolves around him. Everything must fall in place nicely for him, or else he will never succeed. Whenever something in that ideal world he envisions goes wrong, it's that thing's fault. Never his.
For a loser, a mirror is but something for him to look at his face, do his hair. There will never be a moment whereby self-reflection about his own fault can exist, for everyone needs to understand how he feels, see things from his perspectives, rather than him trying to understand everyone, and everything else.
Even when someone is kind enough to point this out to him, he produces that 'arrogance-without-basis mentality'. They don't understand. They are unenlightened idiots. I'm the clever one. I'm sad. I'm disappointed. Why can't they just understand me? I know others feel that it's wrong. But I just trust myself, cos I'm just that darn good.
For the saddest thing in life is when you're too full inside, you'll never learn anything from the outside.
Seeing all the external factors conspiring against him, he resigns to fate and continue to lament about it, never achieving any improvement to the status quo again.
On the other hand, winners look for
reasons. For an unsuccessful attempt, the winner concentrate on
his own role in it. On what things shouldn't be done did he do. On what things should be done did he NOT do. On what are the faults of his own strategies that led to it. On what can he do, if there is a next time, to improve it. He is specific. He rectifies this problem head on, and one by one.
For such a person, he is confident of his own strategies and methods. But at the same time, he is humble enough to seek and listen to advice, as he understands that his brain is but a limited collection of personal life experiences. He is willing to change once they prove not to work. He takes charge of his own life, and takes the
initiative to start
action. He does not give up.
Success is easy, but 'failure' is what shapes you as a person, and let you see your true self.
It's easy to blame the world, drown in self-pity. It feels good, really.
But does it achieve anything? Nothing but mere self-consolation.
So are you a winner or a loser?
Someone who takes responsibility, and start action; or someone who blames, and enjoy the feeling of blame and self-consolation?
You decide.
lowtide blogged @
1:56 am
