Exam As usual, there are a lot of things I wanna blog about (including the David Tao concert!, but still waiting for photos from Reb though), but I've simply not have the energy/time to do so.
I think I really can't multi-task. Once my mind is set on something, my main train of thought will always be on that thing. And despite anything else happening, my mind will still pull back and focus on that thing. Only minor distractions can make me take a break, but no major distractions can come in and disrupt my major thought.
It was the same for Foodhunt, it's now the same for exams.
Thinking back, perhaps due to this 'focused' mindset, I lost more than I realised. Perhaps concentrating on one thing to make it the best is my talent, but not having the skill to multi-task will be my deficit.
Random thoughts: -- This semester I think I'm taking exams too easily. Last semester, when the modules were much, much tougher, I really focused and struggled my way through. This time round, I seem a abit too relaxed. -- Looking back at the pictures, I realised what a topsy-turvy year 2 I had. Good times, bad times, random times, self-imagined times. -- Suddenly I missed the power of David's songs. The concert kinda made me want to find someone I can sing all these songs to. -- I realised I made a lot of new friends, but at the same time, I lost a lot. And am losing some soon. Is it me or things are "just" like that? -- Sometimes, you do not know what you do wrong to deserve such 'contrastic' behaviours. It's either I don't know I did wrong, or things "just" happen. "Just", meaning the agent of change is not me, but from others. And what causes the "just"? I can't pinpoint it, seriously. -- Not showing something doesn't mean the something is not there. -- Asymmetric information leads to one side knowing more of the product than the other. This leads to adverse selection, when the parties find exactly the wrong people to trade with. Even if one's guesstimates are near the actual curves, after making a decision, either could modify their behaviours, i.e. a moral hazard problem. This creates endless feedback effects, and the cycle goes on and on. So, from a general equilibrium perspective, a partial tax, seemingly only affecting the partial factor being taxed upon, can and will affect the whole economy through the above-mentioned feedback effects. -- Hence, instead of gueestimates, one should try to remove asymmetric information to prevent adverse selection, and even after avoiding adverse selection, one should identify the potential moral hazards and sought to counter them beforehand as well.
I think I'm going crazy with Econs. I can link everything from Econs to life. That's why I remain deeply interested in Econs. Econs rocks!
It's amazing how when you hear particular songs, they bring you back to a certain point in your life, and how people mark songs by the era they first listened to it.
Time to relive the secondary/jc/army days!!!
Haha it feels like Foodhunt actual day, for something you've looked forward to for so long, yet you don't know what to expect when the actual day comes.
2.5 more days.. I'm so glad that I've talked to Kaiwei about the David Tao concert!!
Talking to other people often digs out the innermost thought in you.
Through the conversation, while I've recommended her about kewei (backup singer for David - this year's arts camp ocommer kexin's sister! - kewei's blog link is under my links) and Goh Kheng Long, I've come to listened to that Soul Power Concert song of Sha Tan + Over the rainbow again, and I found back the reason I wanted to attend the concert!
It's the music, it's the power, it's the touch you feel in your heart.
Further, I'm glad that I got to dig out my old post.
That was when I just started my blog, fresh from ORD. It's pretty amazing how the previous concert was then, and here it is again. The more amazing thing is, The Choronicles of Naohia (Narnia) is back too! Two things that I love then, and two things that are coming back soon too. Life just goes in cycles isn't it?
I remembered then, when I was fresh from ORD, I was feeling so good, so ready to conquer NUS and conquer the world. Somehow, after nearly 2 years of socialisation, I kind of become drained and disillusioned about the whole paper chase thing. But looking back at these posts, I've found back that 'freshness' in me, and the reason I want to do well in NUS.
When I just ORDed, and just entered NUS, I kept telling myself - compare everything with the days in army, and everything will really seem nice, fun and good out of a sudden. Buried under the stresses and busyness, I forgot this mantra of mine. Now it's time to renew my mindset again, and make a final dash!
When I think back of the Jurong Island days, the constantly-stung-by-mosquitoes-and-sleeping-in-forests days, life doesn't seem so tough now isn't it?
It's tough now, but it's still better than those days.
I'll fight and turn my fortunes back in my favour this time =)
5 more days As the last 'official' week of school starts, other than the post-exams, it's something I've been looking forward too!
The David Tao concert - 123 我们都是木头人世界巡回演唱会.
Well to be frank, recently, I've been so drowned in the sea of busy-ness that I've no mood to look forward to a musical concert, and this day has become like another day in a packed schedule.
our tickets - 3rd ROW!! notice the 'premier entrance' =P
It's different now, I hope. Well, after foodhunt has ended, plus the ending of all the assignments, I have the mood to sit back, relax, and enjoy the world go by me, while keeping an eye on the stuff I'm supposed to catch up/revise.
told you it was ROW 3. $171 though =s
Of course, in attending any concert, a good deal of nostlagia, plus a good dose of emo-ness is critical to make me look forward to it.
Think I'll be drowning myself in his songs these few days =)
These few days I realised maybe sometimes I should blog in small little snippets rather than huge long posts.
A mixture of both will be fine.
Oh, had quite a "happening" few days.
Actually it's not very happening, but in times like this, anything out of the mundane will seem like random fun and greatly felt and appreciated =)
Monday - heard from zhimin that macro lecture has ended, and so have its tutorials. Also, Zhimin keep telling me about how the sem has passed so fast, when we first complained and were so restless for the 6-8pm lecture, until today, it was the last of LKL's lecture. In a weird way, I'll miss her as a person, rather than as a teacher. As usual, stayed over in school.
Tuesday - Nothing noteworthy here, except getting 10 marks for Choelboem! First time getting full marks for an assignment for this module, it's nothing much, but it made me happy nonetheless =)
Wednesday - Had a great rest day, but shocked to find out the my blog post about NUS' accomodation problems has been "tomorrowed". Well, while it sounds exciting at first, the part which they quoted me is not representative of my post at all. When cyberspace complain about the mainstream media, I think they are guilty of the same thing too. Rushed to pack my stuff for a 2-night stay (again) in school, and went for tuition, after which I whacked bus 30 back to NUS.
Thursday - Malay Presentation! It was a massive, massive 30 percent for an around 10 minute group presentation, so I was rather nervous and serious (what's new? haha) about it. We had some technical glitches, pronounciation problems (as usual), but glad our skits pulled through. Really grateful that Cecilia and Patrick just acted out their best, totally better than when in our rehearsals.. I think Cikgu Sew was impressed by our "props"! haha. For TA at 10am, every group's presentation was good, fun, and informative, so I loved every minute of it. Surprisingly, we were asked to present again during the lecture! Usually it indicates that we are the "best group" of the tutorial, and I'm really very, very relieved and happy. It's a massive 30 percent, and I really can't afford any slips. Actually, I'm still feeling very happy about it =)
From there, I kinda realised I'll miss the people in TA. Although we seldom really talked, I'll miss the smiles of everyone, the "roll eyes together" whenever Cikgu Sew gets over-engrossed in his "jokes", and that sense of "we want to learn the language because we love it" feeling.
TB was more disappointing, as after the TA's groups have set the standard, their presentations just paled in comparison, in terms of being interesting enough.
Evening - Joshua, Xinyu and I went to run! So glad to don the famous Brooks running shoes again, after a long period of busy-ness. We ran around Kent Ridge Park, Science Park I, and from Science back to Arts, and the scenery was really good =) Natural Heritage!
Friday - Went to the AS4 recording studio to record the song for Remmy and Caleb's NM MTV project, it was quite fun! Didn't even know NUS has a recording studio in the first place. Oweek anyone? heh. Initially I was really demoralised as I couldn't hit the key, but after having much adjustments, I finally found the right key to sing the song, and hope it came out well =)
Ok, I thought I'll keep it short, but the long-winded me has made it rather long again, ha.
Temple While the debate in the previous post's 'comments' section rages on, I went to visit the temple my mum's urn is placed to pay my respects to her.
It has been a long time since I've went there, and to look at my mum's picture on the urn.
Well, I can't describe the exact feeling as I was there, but overwhelmingly there was a feeling of nostlagia. The days when my dad, my brother and I will go there quite regularly, and the temple seemed like quite a big place.
When I entered the temple, everything seems familiar, except that everything seemed to have 'shrank'. When you grow up, the places you used to go will suddenly take on a new dimension, becoming smaller.
When I entered that section of the temple where my mum's urn was, the feeling became sombre all of a sudden. The memories just came flooding back, and again, I felt like that little boy.
But my body was big, and I assume different responsiblities now. Everything has changed. 奶奶 has passed away. Hence, the paternal side is not as closed as it used to be. Our generation of cousins do not keep in contact at all. My brother and my father is not on talking terms anymore. My brother is married yet my father has yet to know. I'm the only link from the family to my father. Due to my improved financial situation, dad borrows money from me to settle his bills, often without returning. I can't bear to force him to return the money, which is amounting to $1000. But I'm not so rich myself. The house loan is accumulating, and waiting for my graduation to start paying it off. - 2 long more years to go still. I need to teach tuition to sustain myself. When I graduate, I need to give money to auntie, pay off my student loan, pay off the housing loan from my CPF. How to save money like that?
And the worst news from the afternoon is that I saw a big tin with a notice asking for donations, for a Royal Cremation in Thailand. When I saw the picture, I got a shock. He is the monk whom we use to visit, and he died on 24/01/08. The cremation will only take place in 2009, to be decided by the Thai King. Father was visibly upset and saddened by it. The feeling of everyone around us just dying and dying off, or splitting away from one another as we talked. Laogu's moved to Australia. Uncles and aunties seldom meet. The close days were over.
Maybe this dysfunctional part of my family, so quite different from the usual 'nuclear' + quite close extended family has brought me up in a different way. My personality makes me a free spirit, loving fun and loving jokes. Yet at the same time, the helplessness of the past plus the burden of responsibilities thrown upon me made me somehow overly serious, overly focused on achievement, and sometimes on the edge of being weird and aloof.
But who can understand all these? Hopefully, some day, someone will come along, and together we can create my debut into a more 'normal' family life.
Haha dunno what's the point of this post. Just ranting.
Dialogue Session with the Office of Student Affairs on the Hostel Allocation Problem I have a lot of things I want to blog about, including Foodhunt'08, of course. But well, since Foodhunt ended, my mind is filled with the overwhelming desire to make up for lost ground during so many weeks of non-study, so I find myself with little spare energy to blog.
But I felt for this session if I didn't blog about it, I would not blog about it again.
Am super tired now, so I might not be as coherent as I can be.
Just came back from the dialogue session as mentioned in my title. I went with zhimin and michelle.
It was an eye-opener. Well, previously, for the previous forums I went to, like the DSC forum last year on press freedom in Singapore, or the forum with PM Lee a few months back, people discuss things, but none had that immediate sense of concern plus the level of passion from the ground.
Naturally, as mentioned in that email NUSSU sent to us NUS students, people were not happy that in spite of them getting the capped 40 points (mostly from organisational CCAs), they could not get accomodation stay on campus.
And of course, the strongest views came from the international students. From the statistics that were shown to us, the number of rooms allocated to senior students were roughly same as last year, the only reason that pushed up the CCA points needed for campus accomodation is that there was quite an alarming increasing in the number of applicants, both foreign and local.
Well, when everyone who had 40 points were able to get a room, they were happy. But once the minimum shot through this cap, people would then begin to rattle and rattle about the 'fairness' of the system.
I felt some bad points were raised during the dialogue.
1. 'It's not fair when some of us have 40 points, and we thought we were safe, but suddenly we don't have a room'
-- Well, to be fair to students, local or international, there is indeed a sense of grievance, and rightly so, that getting the 'maximum' points and doing so much for organisational activities for their clubs and societies still resulted in them not getting a room. However, to be fair to the OSA, we can't say it's 'not fair', when everyone is under the same situation. It just happens so that others are more kiasu than you, that this year a lot of people get more than 45 points. We did not expect the sudden jump in the cut-off point, but so did the OSA! You can't blame the prof if you didn't get an A if you score 90 marks, when others all get 95 marks, simple.
2. "It's not FAIR (again) to ask me to join dancing/singing activities when I don't like it! just to get the CCA points (to the applause of many)"
-- Well, as I said, when everyone got their rooms based on 40 points, they never complained about the system being unfair, as participation in one category (mostly organisational I think) will gurantee them room stay.
If this logic applies, it's also NOT FAIR when people are 'forced' to join CCAs just to get room stay.. but why weren't people saying it? It's only when you suffer by the rules due to your own actions, then you'll complain about the rules not being fair. When you gain by the rules, you applaude the rules. It's a lazier faire world, so live by it.
Also, some international students were fresh from their 2-year protection, and competing for accomodation on campus based on CCA points for the first time. Coupled with this unprecedented jump in the cut-off point, it's natural for people to feel angry about it. And because of it, seeing the statistics that slightly above 1000 local students got the accomodation, I can feel the strong anti-Singaporean students feeling on the ground.
One Singaporean student mentioned that some students really live quite far from campus, and immediately the ground was filled with "We don't even live in this country, hello?" sound from the ground, you know from who. While I have my utmost sympathy for them really, I was really pissed at this juncture.
Plus the black lady's (exchange student from Germany) example of how her university actually bars people who live near the university to live on campus, the feeling I got from the IS was that
"Come on, locals have a home! And Singapore isn't THAT big, and all we want is a shelter!"
There was a strong feeling of wanting to remove Singaporean students from the hostels, to accomodate all the IS. Yes, IS are poor things, far from the comfort of their families. However, we locals are already suffering so much to accomodate you guys!
I've been exposed to the fact the Singaporean students who go overseas to study have to find their own accomodation too, so I don't see why the big hoo-haa here, especially when they have a 2-year period to get used to local conditions, and I believe they will be able to find private rental near school.
Of course, the good suggestions came out.
1. The OSA website's portal for information on private rentals outside school is outdated, pathetic, and looks rather 'for show'. I hope they can really update the portal, and contact rental agencies to really be the link between private rentals and international students.
2. It's great that a Vietnamese student (I fell in love with her Cockney accent, she's cute too ;p) talking about better financial aid for international students forced to live off campus, as their costs of living may go up. Reasonable.
3. CCA points from halls, when student want to change from halls to residences, should not be counted as hall activities have an unfair advantage compared to residence stayers, due to their variety and proximity. I feel instead of not counting, it should be halved, as per hall-skipping.
4. Students should be allowed to bunk in legally (paying or not) as long as they are willing, to help increase the number of students staying on campus.
5. International students should be allowed a temporary place of stay on campus when they look for private rental.
6. Students should be told to report over-reporting of CCA points by any hall, club or society to the OSA to prevent unfair play.
7. Publish the CCA points cut-off of the previous years of the different halls and residences to let the students have a better feel of the competition. (Very good suggestion as previously what we know is all from hearsay, and never from official sources)
But well, this shortage of supply problem is only a short-term one. For now, I think the OSA would just bite the bullet for another 2 years and let people scold them, after which the problem would be a lot less severe. By 2010, when the University Town is completed (with a capacity of 6000), the problem will be entirely solved. As such, I do not think that any long-term changes will be implemented, as the long-term solution is already in place. In the short-term, the OSA should really consider the 7 points mentioned above, and implement them quickly, so to cater to the short-term needs.
Finally, other than the concrete details of the dialogue, I learnt something important, at least in the human relationship sense.
When people are faced with things that don't please them, they turn irrational, and think of all the selfish, best-case scenarios for themselves, without recognising the constraints and feasibility of things. In these circumstances, all people want is a comforting ear, to feel that someone cares for them, and is trying to do something for them.
Explanation of constraints at this juncture gets into the head, but never the heart. People will only get more frustrated with each explanation, as it's the human nature to not want to face or be reminded of the sad part of reality. At this juncture, all people want is simply some comfort, plus a channel to relieve their emotions.
(Just try quarelling with a girl when she's super emo.)
So, the best way to handle these things is, (truthfully or not) appear sympathetic to their cause, and promise to help them. Through time, the sad reality and constraints sink in, and people will just move on. Sounds political, but totally true.
It's just so us, it's just so human isn't it?
A big lesson about life indeed.
(P.S. I got a residence room for next year myself, so the views might be biased =))
