Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Updates for the sake of updating
Many things have transpired between end-of-arts-camp to now, and many things done.
I worked, I filmed, I acted, I edited, I scrutinised, I attended precamp, I further scrutinised, I bought, I carried, I etc.
I don't know if people can see it, but the more critical I was, it only showed the more I cared.
I sincerely believed I did my best.
Facing such diversed personalities, leading such a green team, I've really went way beyond what was my job scope, and cared a lot more for the people who currently occupy the position I once held.
I have to curb my hot-temper, breathe in deep, and talk nicely while driving the serious point across. I have to carefully stroke egos even though I'm egoistic myself. I have to push people who do not have enough initiative without spoiling the 'feel good' factor between us. When people lost steam, or when people gave up talking to one another, I have to be the one doing all the background linkages.
And yet, all some people think is about how much sacrifices they have made, or how much they themselves have suffered, or about how much credit they want to claim, or how much they want to slack, leaving all the work to other people.
Seriously sometimes I don't care already. People can choose to believe the half-truths presented to them, and just listen to one-sided accounts, it's their choice.
But at the same time, I'm really touched by the people who trusted me throughout, really. These people really know me, and know that I do things because I
had to, rather than because I
want to. You know who you are, and I really, really appreciate it.
These are the people you can really call 'friends'.
Sometimes, a simple gesture is all it takes to leave a print on your heart for the rest of your life.
To the 'some people': the time will still come, the things will still have to be done. Whether you want to view it negatively, or view it as a positive experience, it's your choice.
However, always remember: Choices have consequences.
If you want a positive conquence, jolly well make that positive choice, and endure through the labour pains in the process.
I'll repeat what I once typed:
"Even if you think you deserve it, it doesn't mean they will give it to you."
"You have to go and get it."
It doesn't matter how much effort you put in. All it matters is what people see, the results.
So, you either bloody execute it damn well, or throw your efforts all down the dustbin.
Again, the choice is yours.
Immortality is ahead. Go and get it guys.
lowtide blogged @
1:50 am
Friday, July 04, 2008
Just something
Well, a week has ended since Arts Camp ended.
I just came back from work at Fengshan Primary, and I'm feeling quite tired and jaded.
Was quite happy that from Tues to Fri, I had Cindy pei-ing me for work. While work was seldom boring, it is always great to have another good friend beside you, talking crap and joking about the 'propaganda'.
Was talking to Cindy during work. Well, Arts Camp seemed so near, yet at the same time, being buried in work and oweek stuff, it seemed so far.
It was like ages ago when I experienced these 5 days of saikang, brainstorming, troubleshooting, lack of sleep, camaradie etc.
The feeling is actually quite scary.
You know, in soccer, I've always read about great managers saying this: When they just won a trophy or league title, they will say something like this: "We'll celebrate tonight, but tomorrow the work starts." or "I don't like to look at the past glories, I only look to the future."
When I read this kind of stuff again and again, the thing that comes to my mind is "Impossible lah. How can anyone not boast, be proud, and bask in their own glory for a long time after they have painstakingly achieved success? Wouldn't it be human just to celebrate for just a little while longer?"
After Arts Camp was done, I did not really feel an overwhelming sense of achievement or anything, to be frank. When Arts Camp ended, I didn't have the mental space to celebrate or be happy. Of course, I was personally proud that Beach Games went as smoothly as it possibly could, even with the introduction of a new venue (using the bridge) and trying a totally new mass game. The only thing that came to my mind was Oweek, Oweek, and Oweek.
For those who did not know, we continued to edit videos immediately on Sunday, 2 days after Arts Camp ended.
Back to the point. It's quite bad actually. To be so focused on what's to be done, and not having the spare mental space to sit down, relax and celebrate.
Thinking back, I'm actually leaning a little bit too closely to the STB motto: We're serious about fun. Too serious about supposedly-fun things, actually.
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It is great reading the programme team's emails, it's great that everyone has learnt so much, done so much, and most importantly, felt so much.
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It's no point having the tears and the thank yous and the "I know it's hard"s if nothing has changed, really. Yes perhaps, we cannot expect people to change overnight. But if one cannot recognise the underlying flaws in one's instinctive character, and try to curb it directly, and continue to remain confident on the wrong things, all the tears, and all the so-called "I've learnt a lot" will be in vain.
Realisation is good, but taking action to change things is another thing altogether. Without the latter step, all things felt would be nothing but superficial, short-term emotional outpours.
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Let us just ask ourselves a simple question: When faced with a dilemma, how do you make a decision?
The rational answer for this question would be:
1. Weigh the pros and cons of both choices,
2. Compare choice A's pros with choice B's pros.
3. Compare choice A's cons with choice B's cons.
4. Come out with a decision.
But do people always think this way?
Many a time, some #$%^&* do this instead.
1. Go with the first instinctive solution that comes to the mind. (choice A)
2. Splurt it out.
3.
AFTER he/she has splurted out the decision,
THEN think of reasons to support choice A.
4. When choice B is argued favourably by the other party, do the following:
5. Keep focusing on the Choice B's
cons by comparing it with the
ideal situation
. Then list out choice A's
pros.6. By comparison,
choice A is the superior one.
It sound absurd when we're cool and peaceful reading this post, but this is really the way some people solve dilemmas!
Think of a decision first, then try to justify it. Rather than thinking about both sides before coming to a decision. DUH.
I've experienced it twice, and it's a totally pissfying experience. Once you make a decision first before thinking, any argument put forth by the other side will not be as readily accepted, as the inertia would be too great, and the bias too strong.
Maybe it's just my economics training.
In comparing any 2 choices, always recognise the constraints present. Meaning, since both choices will not produce any perfect scenario, it would be no point comparing any choice with the 'ideal' scenario.
Therefore, when comparing the 2 choices, you compare apples with apples. Meaning, instead of saying choice A is good/bad because blah blah blah, you set a catergory, then compare both choices to see which one is better.
Repeat this for other categories. Then from there, looking at the different categories, conclude that in the light of these constriants, which choice is the better one.
Isn't that really simple? But well, people are often guided by their instincts and reluctance to change, rather than what's better in a logical, rational, and 'bird's eye' point of view.
Ok I don't know how to end this post, I'm just ranting.
lowtide blogged @
9:54 pm
