Friday, November 09, 2007
Badly
I saw this on Han Chong's msn nick quite some time ago, I roughly remember:
"If a man wants something he has never want before, he has to do something he has not done before"
Guess it's true. Actually to an individual, a lot of things can be achieved, and it depends on how badly one wants to achieve it. Inherent ability differs from man to man, but if one wants something badly, and is really set out to achieve it, I believe things can be achieved, or should one fail, one will at least come close.
But therein lies the problem. It's how BADLY one wants to achieve something that matters in the first place. In our lives, we face too many comforts. And we're getting even increasingly comfortable with our lives. Last time, I had to share the use of my computer with my brother, and usually end up very unhappy, when either I deprive him the usage of the comp, or vice versa. Now, I have my lappie with me 24/7, and I kinda can't live without it in my spare time.
I'm also amazed how much we've changed, when I give a =.= face when I took a non-aircon 95 bus to school. We're now so used to air-con that we'll die without it. I used to be so happy, so contented whenever I have the chance to take a bus. Every air-con bus was a bonus, and we'll be SUPER happy and feel lucky when we board one. Now, air-con buses are like mandatory, and we'll sulk and curse if we were to board one without air-con. Ah I miss the days of 25 cents buses, with me inserting the metallic fare card (rem this term? haha) into the top hole of the fare card machine, and the machine making some printing noise before the fare card comes out at the bottom, with a nice little ticket attached. I used to see if the numbers at the top right corner add up to 21, and declare it a lucky ticket. Is is Yvonne or Liwen who taught me that? Can't really remember.
I'm sure there are many many other examples on how we've become so spoilt, and how life seems to be so smooth and convenient for us that we forgot how lucky we are. Everyday, we complain about our mugging, our deadlines and our endless assignments, when in some parts of Singapore, people struggle when they are denied a place in university, when their lousy family environments make them stuck in the 'poverty' trap and destined to earn meagre $1000+s for the rest of their lives. And compare it to the rest of the world, we're so lucky that I don't even have to elaborate.
I keep saying I want something badly, but the actions never seem to match the words. True enough, I do all the mandatory stuff - I attend my tutorials (to not miss any attendance marks), I TRY to attend all lectures (but I skipped quite a lot), I hand in my essays/assignments in time and do them proper, I study for my mid terms properly, I try to present in tutorials (I hate it but I have to do it) etc.
But what I'm doing is purely reactive. If there's something to be done, I'll clear it, and neglect all other things in the process. After lecture, I don't really go through the notes to recap, and I'll do tutorials just for the sake of it, and I flip my notes only to answer the tutorial questions, instead of a complete understand of the topic.
Other than all the 'must dos', in my spare time, I just stare at the computer, surfing soccer sites, blogs, re-watching Rovers' highlights, or simply stone. I'm not like some other people who can just mug mug and mug, regardless of whether there is a test/tutorial coming up. It just shows I still do not want something badly enough to translate all the talk to action. I'm just too spoilt.
Worse still, I still dota almost every night. I dotaed the night before ST's midterm, macro midterm, I dotaed while rushing for my 3000 word essay, I just dotaed my way through the sem.
It just shows how not badly I want to achieve, despite all the rumblings and talks.
I have a dream.. I want to achieve it. I will not try overly hard, but I'm still determined as ever. It's hard to remain positive, but for the dream I would =)
Our 4SIR motto: Towards greater heights!
Ah-wu-ah.
lowtide blogged @
9:02 am
