Sunday, June 14, 2009
Dream v.s. Reality
The actual work that we are supposed to do for the internship is, to me, a very small part that what I feel is important.
I'm glad that I have the chance to go around talking to people about work, and their experiences.
At the same time, reading some of my friends' blogs and sharing of their thoughts via other means, it allowed me to link these points together.
You know, in work, I keep being reminded of how Singapore is a kinda 'developed' country, yet at the same time, we still have a very 'developing' mindset.
Please allow me to explain.
It's like, one side of me, having seen and hear how the older generation, having little education, in their very individual private lives, endured, toiled, and worked hard. Individually, they are just fighting to improve their very own lives. But collectively, they achieved this level of standard of living we see around our island today.
At the other end of the spectrum, we, the young people, are caught in between. For people from poorer families like me (my family isn't exactly poor now, but they certainly work hard to be financially comfortable), I admire how the older generation worked really hard. About their harsh reality of not being able to afford higher education even though they had the brains to do so. About how they worked in labour jobs during the school holidays to supplement their family incomes. About how they toiled hard in their work for decades for what we see as meagre pay today.
At the same time, we get exposed to all these funny, but really liberating 'western' ideals. Follow your heart. Do what you love. Dare to dream. Dream big and you can achieve. You can be what you want as long as you put enough hard work into it.
The lack of material hardship for our generation, coupled with the funny 'western' ideals, contradicted harshly with the experiences and the spirit of the older generation. When we want to be 'choosy' about our jobs - you know, the usual yada yada - find a job you 'really like', find a job that does not bound you to the desk, find a job that is 'different' from what the 'majority' is doing, the 'developing' side of us smacks us right in the head. What's that about 'finding a job you really like'? It's merely a way to mask your lack of endurance for hardship. It's just that you have never suffered before, that's why you can afford to be choosy, as all your basic material needs have already been provided for by your 'can't choose but to work hard' parents. You're merely enjoying the luxury of being 'choosy' because your parents are suffering for you. How selfish to be choosy when essentially you are just not willing to go through the hardship your parents went through!
Other the other hand, when we want to stick to reality, i.e. find a higher-paying job you have significantly less interest in, those 'western' ideals pop out in our heads. Come on, it's your life. You only live once. Don't waste it. You're gonna work for more than 40 years. Take charge of your life. Money's not everything. Go for it. Go for what you like.
So, when someone says that he/she wants to do something that he/she loves, is it really to make his/her life more fulfilling? Or is it merely an excuse to hide one's poor endurance for hardship, as he/she has never suffered any in the material sense? When the bank account grows painfully slow to be able to afford the HDB mortgages + study loans + healthcare + childcare costs, can the avoidance of reality still be comfortable behind the cushy walls of passion?
When he/she finally succumbs to reality and brings these walls down, the account grows, but does the soul diminish?
It's really hard, at least for me. When I keep wanting to find that 'perfect' job, there is one part of me that I have to admit that is really really avoiding hard work. The mentality of just wanting to slack my life away, totally irregard what my older generation did to bring me to where I am. And at the same time, earn a good wage! By simple economics, it's possible, but highly improbable.
For me, that's not much of a choice. Reality is of course the first course I have to take. But once the loans are cleared, you get sick of the same cycle for 5 or more years, what's next? Should I just toughen myself up to be able to take more monotony or hardship, or should I just be contented with life, earn a lot less, but live with the potentially severe negative consequences?
Sometimes, it's easier for people to go with the flow, than for people who think so much.
So, here we have with a very 'developed' country (Live your life to the fullest), but yet stuck with a very 'developing' mindset (individual - if you don't work super hard, you're gonna suffer; country - if we don't work super hard, our economy's gonna go down and we'll go back to being poor).
So what do you choose, and REALLY why?
P.S. Why do you wake up in the morning?
- It used to be very simple - to get wonderful grades to signal to future employers that I'm good, hence earn a good wage to clear all the heavy debts piling up, waiting for me
- But waking up early every morning to work, imagining me doing this almost everyday for up to 40 years, I freaked out
- But maybe it's always good to have alternative views challenging what you always thought was the best - you have the chance to think out of the box, to find freedom in more than ways the society prescribed for you =)
P.P.S. YES 4TH TIME!!!! (and probably the last time, lol)
=) =) =) =)
lowtide blogged @
1:44 am
