Friday, September 28, 2007
Bing's First Meditation
Although I giggled and laughed and joked, I can't believe that some people can actually do that.
It's strange how decisiveness and fickleness can co-exist.
If only I'm like that, things will move, and perhaps I'll seem to be happy.
I don't know what is the psychological term for it, but I do believe a lot of people practise what I call the "Psycho yourself that the decision you made was the best AFTER you have made that decision, regardless whether it was indeed the best, and then continue to believe it was the best decision hence very convinced it was indeed the best" theory.
But the distant-yet-not-forgotten experience of apparent happiness built on rocky grounds and the fact that I was going along the flow instead of creating it creates this experience bias which is impossible to eliminate once it has been recorded and felt by the mind.
Yes I was happy, so what? Lingering thoughts still wondered around my mind, I knew nothing's gonna come out of it, yet I continue to ride the wave, and enjoy while I can, practising the above-mentioned theory. This is thrill, cheap thrill. Yes it makes a good experience, a good roller-coaster, but in the end, what do I really gain? Experience points? This is not DOTA! Yes I leveled up, but does that mean I can cast higher level spells now?
I thought I hadn't change, I thought I only needed circumstances before I revealed my old self. However, through my own reflections and tested by emphirical happenings, perhaps I had. I realised that through time, while I became a lot clearer about life, under this new and clearer understanding, I became even more attached to old principles. Knowing the new helps me further understand the old. Suddenly, the words of J.S. Mill appeared on my mind, about how the questioning of one's idea by the opposing camp only serve to help one gain a deeper understanding of that very questioned idea.
If only I could be like the people around, apparently happy by practising that theory. I'm glad now, I am able to hold firm to the principles I cling on dear. Perhaps it would seem a hassle having principles, but not having priniciples make life not one worthy of living, isn't it?
Cogito ergo sum =)
lowtide blogged @
3:19 am
